Category: Uncategorized (page 1 of 2)

Marital Healing Through Empathy

  Ryan and Joanna came to my office feeling really hurt and discouraged.  Finding out about Ryan’s pornography addiction left her cycling through many emotions.  The betrayal was almost too much for her to handle.  While she cycled through many emotions, she mainly felt angry and alone.   Knowing how deeply he hurt his wife,…

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Women Struggling with the Shame of Pornography Addiction

Shame is the knowledge that you’ve done something wrong and because of it you are a bad person.  This is not good.  We’ve all had experiences of shame.  Just think of a time when you did something humiliating.  You just want to crawl under a rock whenever you think of it.  For many people pornography…

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Empathy and Apologies

Bill and Kathy are in their mid-forties.  They have been married twenty years and have six children.   Bill is a military officer and Kathy is a stay-at-home mom.  Kathy sought marital counseling when she caught Bill viewing Internet pornography.  A scan of the history on his laptop computer, cell phone and tablet revealed that he…

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Five Reasons Why Guys Love Porn

Five Reasons Why Guys Love Porn By Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D., SATP, CSAT Many people, especially women, wonder why men are so attracted to pornography.  They have difficulty understanding how certain photographs and videos can have such a hold on men’s attention.  While men’s attraction to pornography is due to a complex combination of biological,…

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Accountability: Not Just for Sobriety Anymore

Several months ago in a counseling session with a client, l’ll call Steve, I asked him how he was working with his accountability partner for recovery. He admitted they hadn’t talked in a few weeks.  When asked why, Steve stated that the phone calls had gotten very mundane.  He and his accountability were both getting…

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How do I know if I’m Addicted?

Because pornography use is so widely used and accepted today, many people may wonder if they are addicted to it. According to Dr. Mark Laaser (1992) pornography/sexual addiction is “any persistent and escalating unhealthy pattern of sexual behavior. It is compulsive in nature and used to avoid or change feelings despite destructive consequences to self…

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Boredom, Isolation & Internet: The Perfect Storm

Tom was noticeably upset as he described his frustration with pornography use.  It seemed that every day at work he would end up going online and viewing pornography.  No matter what he tried, he always seemed to fall into the same pattern.  For Tom, the root causes of his internet porn use were boredom, isolation,…

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Conviction: Where God’s Justice and Mercy Intersect

Marty has a strong belief in God; however, he struggled to understand God’s unconditional love for him.  Marty’s struggle with pornography addiction left him feeling worthless and unlovable, especially in God’s eyes.  For Marty, a large part of recovery is understanding how God can be both just and merciful. This is a struggle I find…

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What to Expect in Recovery

While working on developing his recovery program, I asked Mike about his relationship with God.  He admitted he was frustrated with God.  He has prayed fervently that God would deliver him from his addiction.  Unfortunately he received little response.  He was still trapped in his pornography addiction.  I often meet people like Mike in my…

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Understanding a Wife’s Pain

Betrayal Trauma Discovering one’s husband is a porn addict is extremely painful.  For many wives, this deep pain is actually the result of a deep emotional traumatic wound.  We call this Betrayal Trauma.  Trauma is typically defined as an occurrence wherein an individual sees or experiences a risk to their own life or physical safety…

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